Shut Up!
by Sama-Zelda
Summary: A fic for anyone who has screamed this at the TV while playing Zelda! Link always had wanted a fairy, just like everyone else in the Kokiri Forest. But once he gets one can he take the annoyingness? Most of the time he finds himself screaming "SHUT UP!".


A/N- I heard Kelly Osbourne's new song, Shut Up! and I knew it would be perfect for a song fic about how annoying Navi is (Hey! I usually end up yelling it at the TV while I'm playing...) Basically it dosen't have a plot, it's just little stories of when Navi annoys Link.  
  
~Sami Zelda $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  
  
You say, I should do it differently. I don't, Necessarily agree. Stand up! Sit down! Be nice! Did ya hear me ask for your advice?  
  
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"And so, for you courageous and valiant efforts, Sir Link of the Kokiri, I hereby present you with this coupon for a lifetime supply of free key lime jam." The King of Hyrule himself handed the gold plated coupon to the bright-eyed youngster.  
  
"Can I use it...whenever?"  
  
"Yes, Sir Link. That's why it's called a lifetime supply"  
  
Link lay nestled in the soft wool blankets of his tree house. He was having that really good dream again. True, it wasn't the one where Zelda got naked, but Key Lime Jam coupons are almost as good as naked rich girls. Just as the king was about to give him a ten-ton box of cinnamon nutmeg bread to go along with his jam when he heard a very familiar (and very annoying) little bell ringing in his ear. A tiny little voice was also screaming, "Hey! Wake Up! Hey! Listen!"  
  
Link drowsily opened one eye and immediately shut it when he saw the bright blue light of a tiny fairy named Navi. "Hey!" Navi yelled again. "Link! Snap out of it!"  
  
"What?"  
  
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Don't bother, Trying to tell me your beliefs. Don't want to, Know which way it's good to be. Do this! Do that! On track! Do me a favor and don't talk back!  
  
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Link sat up and glared at his obnoxious fairy. "What?" he said again, but this time a little louder and a little more annoyed. Link heard Navi breath a sigh of relief. "Whew! For a second there I thought evil pigs had taken over your brain!"  
  
"EVIL PIGS?!"  
  
"You were certainly SNORTING like a hog!"  
  
That little remark made Link see red. He had given up eating just to be insulted for his snoring problem!! "Well, as long as your up" Navi said pompously. "Do you mind getting me a staple or something? I really need to pick my toes." But instead of having a staple thrown at her, Link hurled a giant moldy sock at Navi.  
  
The sock took Navi by surprise and the sheer blow knocked Navi into the corner of the tree house. "Help!" Nazi's muffled voice pleaded. "This sock has too much mold on it! I can't push it off! Link!! If I keep inhaling this toxic fumes I'll probably pass..."  
  
Link listened. Nothing. No sound came from underneath the sock. 'Thank Goddess. I'll finally be able to get some sleep!" He pulled the blanket back over his head and fell asleep again.  
  
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Round and round, But the conversation always ends where it began. Round and round, And I need a vacation. My god, I've had it from you!  
  
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Link was walking with Zelda through Hyrule Field. It was another perfect Hyrulian day (are there any days that AREN'T?) and the two Hylians were both sitting in the grass making mustaches and beards with crab grass. Link had always felt a little sad because unlike every other guy in Hyrule he didn't have any facial hair.  
  
Nope. Nothing but peach fuzz. Zelda was also feeling a little sad because unlike every other girl in Hyrule she didn't have any facial hair.  
  
"It's itchy!" Zelda said as she smashed the grass onto her delicate face. "Almost like real beards!" Link picked a beetle out of his before taping it to his chin. Suddenly a bright blue light flew out of his hat and began to twitch on the ground.  
  
"Must...ignore...nagging voice...inside...head" Navi squirmed around and around on the grass before shouting out "Why don't we go back to the forest? Won't Saria be surprised to see you beard?" She cringed and then flew back up in the air.  
  
"Who's Saria?" Zelda demanded looking disgusted. "Ummmm...my mother?" Link said with a guilty look on his face.  
  
Zelda stood up and threw dirt in his face. "I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR GIRL! YOU CHEATED ON ME!!!" She stomped away and returned to the castle in a huff.  
  
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Shut up! Don't want to hear your voice. Shut up! I'm sick of all the noise. There's nothing you can say to me, So get away from me. Shut up!  
  
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END OF CHAPTER ONE!!  
  
A/N-Hey should I update????? Huh? Huh? HUH??? 


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